Bostonians Crawl Through Their Own Puke In Search Of Panic Button

O.K. We understand that the Rays are off to a tough start and yes they lost again last night but this is a minor detour, an early season spasm, if you will, before things turn around. In Boston, on the other hand, well, how do we count the ways…

First off, Danny Ainge had a heart attack yesterday, KG might not play in the playoffs for the Celtics, Tumbling Dice-K is on the DL, Beckett was suspended, Big Papi just looks like a slugger now, a hotdog without the mustard and Jon Lester could end up being 0-4 before Mother’s Day.

In addition, The Ladies of Francona are in last place and might not budge from there the entire season.

But hey, the Bruins won last night! The question is; can they get out of the first round of the NHL playoffs?

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